Platform

SMALL GOVT

The Totalitarian Party is the path to government that works. The democratically elected Great and Supreme Leader becomes president through as election by the people and then leads the people to joy and prosperity. Other ineffective branches of government are eliminated entirely. No more Congress, Supreme Court or executive departments. All of these functions are handled easily by the leader. 

LIVING

All Americans will be migrated to reside in these fabulous Ecopods. They can be painted using approved American colors and are not only fashionable but environmentally friendly and spacious. Provided by the government for free, courtesy of the Great and Supreme Leader.

OPENNESS

Transparency allows citizens to keep watch on government. Likewise, a transparent and open citizenry allows the leader to keep you safe. There are no secrets because the citizens will have nothing to hide. Everyone safe, happy and all communications will be wide open and free as a requirement.

DINING

The most delicious nutrition are available to citizens: Total cereal and Sanka decaffeinated.  Other supplemental food and beverage items may be consumed in addition to the standard menu, such as Grapefruits, Kale and Chicken Nuggets. Mostly, citizens will delight in a meal of Total and Sanka to maintain vibrancy in daily life.

RELIGION

Freedom of Religion for all. Citizens shall be free to worship any entity. All worshiped entities understand that the Great and Supreme Leader is the best to forward the religious teachings and maintain a safe and joyous experience for all people.

ENEMY STATES

As the world's largest non-Totalitarian democracy, the spiteful and wicked state of India is the greatest threat. India = Bad, Bad, Bad. We will achieve ultimate Victory over India when the great war begins, which will occur soon. Our might will triumph over the diabolical India.

GAMESHOWS

For relaxation and enjoyment, the people will turn to the Tic Tac Dough gameshow. Rather than drugs, alcohol and pornography, citizens rejoice in the evenings with a great American showman, Wink Martindale. Watch out for the dragon!

SECURITY

The Great and Supreme Leader will protect and monitor the citizens so that you are safe with nothing to fear. The Department of Defense will be renamed to Department of Offense and our great nation state will achieve global superiority through ultimate military strength. Other nation states will be jealous of our missiles, jets and blaster tanks.

DOMESTIC PETS

Capybara, Bichon Frise, Chicken or Spider. All for you to choose! Some citizens prefer to have multiple pets, which can be healthy for children's development. Please be careful, some combinations can introduce difficulty as Bichon Frise and Chicken are known to quarrel.

TRANSPORTATION

The monorail. It's an amazing, clean green symbol of Totalitarian success and great way to get around. We will have monorails everywhere, so that the citizens can get where they need to go. No traffic jams. No Tolls. No TSA. No high gas prices. Say goodbye to broken-down cars and roadside assistance. Road rage will be a distant memory. That's the success and future greatness of the Party.

RECREATION

Natural Volleyball will be the new national sport, replacing the tired old past-times of baseball and football. A vigorous and energetic sport that is inexpensive, with no uniforms or equipment required, other than a ball and a net. The nation state will Dig, Shank, Spike and Joust to health and fitness with a recreational sport all will enjoy.

SCIENCE

The Totalitarian party believes that science is the most important subject to further establish United States dominance around the globe. Science has allowed for the creation of lasers and other amazing weapons that are now, sadly, sitting dormant and unused. The Party will not let those weapons go to waster. Instead, we will use science and weapons to destroy the enemies of science. And we with do so methodically, with experimentation.

EQUALITY

The effervescent Rainbow Equality Smoothie is the modern staple to ensure that all citizens within the regime start out the day on an equal footing. Nobody is better than anyone else, except the Great and Supreme Leader. The national recipe is here.

ECONOMY

The economy runs on the back of the United States worker who enjoys greats benefits from their labor. This enables all citizens to enjoy in the wealth and prosperity of the regime, thanks to the Great and Supreme Leader. The almighty U.S. Dollar will make you feel rich and happy beyond your wildest dreams. 

EDUCATION

Happy children learning? Much of today's youth are reckless, dumb, promiscuous and abuse drugs. Those who do not engage in those behaviors are typically underwhelming oboe players or talentless spawn of helicopter parents. Our regime will change everything, so that your children learn science and read great literature, such as Gone With The Wind.

JOBS

Everyone in the nation state will have an important job that is fulfilling and benefits the state. That is why this guy is so happy. When your job is deemed crucial and essential to the Great and Supreme Leader's visionary plan, you will feel great. Your job will directly contribute to the ultimate and great defeat of arch-enemy nation state India.

ENVIRONMENT

America will not turn into a dirty, smelly, polluted, toxic sludge infested dump. We will not allow it to turn into the awful scene that is seen here, like in the India. Our party will restore fresh air and clean water so that our American Bald Eagle can soar so high. Without pollution, we will eliminate allergies and fresh water will taste GREAT again.

MUSIC

We will bring forth a second supporting national anthem that will raise the citizen's spirits. The power of music will unite the people who will sing together in the streets, praising the new and improved United States of America. Other nation states will create bad music with no rhythm or good beats. We will have it all.

DANCE

Coordinated and synchronized dance are the staple of the modern Totalitarian Party democracy. With each movement perfectly choreographed, rehearsed and performed, the dance becomes the living expression of the regime's beauty and grace as a form of government. God Bless America.

PENMANSHIP

While the rest of the world scribbles out their illegible chicken-scratch, the Totalitarian Party will enable Americans to master superior penmanship. John Hancock and the other signers of valuable and historic U.S. documents had beautiful handwriting, but today, the decadence brought on by Republicans and Democrats has eviscerated this important and patriotic skill. We will restore our abilities to the glory days.

CRIME & PUNISHMENT

Criminals will no longer attend "minimum-security" and "country club party" jail facilities. Republicans and Democrats originally created nice jails because they all knew that eventually they'd end up in one. Instead, we will have stinking rat-infested misery for our criminals, with dark cells, no bathrooms and 24-hour Celine Dion music blasting on the speakers. America will soon become crime-free after word gets out.